3-26-17 3:05 AM PST
I was watching Evan the Great movie after getting up as I fell asleep after watching Oregon defeat Kansas into the Final Four. I had commented I had hoped to have had more money this time last year, and now actually. I would have more play off tickets now. So I would have more money – LOL. Evan the Great is fascination in that in order to maintain our sanity in the current real world we have to watch insanity in a fantasy world. In this case the fantasy is participated with is television. People that act insane bring that level of participation into the current real world. People would think I were insane to verbalize that I see and hear things that others do not. Thus if God appeared and wanted me to build an ark that would be insane. Maybe atheists profess there is no God because maybe they can hear God and to fit into society they don’t want to build the ark. Just a thought.
12-02-16 11:05 AM PST
Yesterday was the 10 year anniversary of the death of my brother-in-law,. He “suffered” Down’s syndrome for 52 years here on earth. He was a very funny dude coming up with so many what we called “Tommyisms” as he was very witty. I believe he chose to be Down’s syndrome for this lifetime as it has its plusses and minuses. He would instruct you on how life really played out, then comment “Now you know that now.” and end by saying “I’m smart.” He truly was smart as he would have others wait on him to do his bidding and then wink at me. I called him on it one time accusing him of playing people. He then looked at me as he came out of character, smiled and said “yea, you got me.” and went back into his character. But what does that have to do with today, 10 years later?
I have noticed that for someone to be judged as to their importance in this society there are basically 4 characteristics. These are intelligence quotient or IQ, education, life experience but probably the most significant is that of social presence.
The first three are actually the most important as to giving someone the innate ability to judge a situation that presents itself as to validity of the project and the potential to accomplish a positive outcome. Social presence gives you the ability to convince someone you can accomplish your task. It is salesmanship.
The great leaders may have not been the brightest, the most educated nor the most well rounded individuals but they did have the ability get have others follow them.
It does seem that this society judges someone’s ability and worth as to how much money and possessions they have amassed. People with money point to the lack of money as stupidity and inability to intelligently produce. Does a varied life experience equate to success in finances? I believe success in business equates to a narrow viewpoint which is self interest. Now don’t get me wrong, people need money to survive and you can survive with more money than less. However, in this country the head of all finances inevitably is a former head of that investment firm, Goldman Sachs. I do know when I was a stockbroker/investment banker the mantra of our firm was – “The house made money, the broker made money. Hey two out of three ain’t bad.”
11-10-16 12:30 AM PST
There have been numerous protests yesterday and last night in reaction to our newly elected President Donald Trump. I took the train to a meeting last night but decided to turn around because service was discontinued before my destination. There was no real rioting as it appeared to be a disjointed gathering of agitated individuals walking the streets.
This reminds me of the days when I attended anti-war rallies and draft card burnings in the late 60s and early 70s. Nothing ever became of those protests. The war ended when it was no longer economically advantageous to carry on. We moved on to Big Oil, Big Pharma and Big Drugs – coke, crack and meth. This election was in essence between the haves and the have nots. The division between those supported by this society and those that are being dismissed because of race, sex, age, religion, nationality or creed. These are the exact things we are supposed to be protected by the constitution.
President Trump was elected by a minority of the popular vote. A difference of less than 203,000 but still less than half. That majority is not used to not getting their way and there is much unrest and despair present. I did not vote for Hillary Clinton and neither did I vote for Donald Trump. Approximately 60 million people did vote for each however.
President elect Trump has earned the respect and support of the American people. He has issued concillatory rhetoric to stop the divisive and discordant position we are in. As such he should be given the chance to bring the country together as I hope he can. I don’t see him given a very long leash by the American people. I also see that President elect Trump has a published agenda and stance along with a Republican legislature and a Supreme Court having the deciding majority to be appointed. I do not see the losing party capitulating in this and agreeing to compromise. This majority is ruled by the phrase “What i need is what I want.” To achieve any type of positive outcome to this election America must work together otherwise an outside force will compel that unity for our survival.
I already miss Obama’s jokes but here is the master – The Gipper
7:03 AM PST
What is it with this feeling of hopelessness, depression, melancholy and gloom that seems to permeate the essence here? I am going to go back and do the selfie video blog format today addressing that. Also I will finish and launch the crowdfunding campaign on Indiegogo and edit down to about 3-4 minute promo along with a 45 second promo.
11-7-16 7:30 AM PST
I just finished my Monday morning jog. Passing people sleeping in doorways, having looked at my bank account earlier, reading emails, seeing the dire posts on social media and dealing with so many people that have lost any hope and they profess to be atheist there is something untoward on the horizon. Here is my take on all the conspiracy theories.
I have things I need to do. I don’t have time to do this drivel blog. No one ever listen to my bullshit . People back in Texas think I’m some kind of kook now and just attribute it to all that damn marijuana I’m taking. I am a patient I’ve been a patient of medical marijuana for the past 19 months. I moved here from Texas because I can use it now to legally and effectively treat my ailments. I am not on any of those incompetent pharmaceuticals I would not say I’m cured but I am doing way better and off everything except vegetarian organic food, supplements and RSO (I will post these conspiracy theory posts on a different website as this is too out there ) ……….. More
About the conspiracy nut stuff. People back in Texas know my concern about chemtrails. I have never seen first hand in any of those planes, if they even exist. Photoshop and props can go a long way to “prove” existence. What I do know is I have witnessed 14 trails spread out over a clear Texas sky at 7 AM going north-south and then 14 deposited east-west. What is the significance? I have no clue only a theory. I do believe there is never any simple coincidence. There is always reason and logic in any madness. The problem is that a lot of times that logic is based in madness and no scientific basis.
My theory it is weather manipulation. The trails are deposited in this clear sky early in the morning, they spread out to then completely cover the sky by noon. This new cloud cover in the higher levels of the atmosphere, drift back to the front that has been building up thus creating this super storm that now causes more damage in the form of tornados, flooding and damage.
Texas is usually very dry, since global warming even more so and can use more rain. Then I hear the real conspiracy nuts talk bout chemtrails and the toxins and biologicals being deposited in the sky and we are getting set for this next world wide pandemic. Wow, that’s really out there. Is it true? I don’t know but if you look at it objectively, it could be true.
Am I just paranoid and delusional from the devil’s weed? I don’t think that is it. I do believe there is a segment in society that has as there purpose the elimination of 90% of the surface population and not through natural selection such as legitimate birth control but rather annihilation using nuclear war, financial collapse, disease and destruction. I have no proof as to when or how this 10% will carry this out. I have my theories.
I have no proof that there is 1% of the population that controls 9%. My theory is after 18 months and all the destruction the 1% will reappear with their 9% to mop up what’s left. 8 months ago Hilary Clinton thought she was in the 1% and thought she was going to get her agenda done. That is when her popularity waned and she was on track to lose the nomination. She let them put the leash back on and now she is their good little doggy, their bitch ready to carry out “The Agenda”.
My parents that both died at 92 and my aunt who succumbed at 93 all told me it is best to never discuss politics and religion in public. These subjects are way too polarizing but is the basis of philosophy. Why can’t we discuss differences and work out a solution to these problems?
The reason is even though the 1% realize the problem is we have too many people and not enough resources their solutions are both unethical and illogical. However, these solutions are already well trenched and it looks inevitable.
Next up: Finances
10-1-16 4:54 AM PDT
I woke up thinking do I have to go take a leak? Do I want to check my bank account? Do I need to let Lily out? (Again what do I need and what do I want?) Why I got up and wrote this is I had a cognition and wanted to record it. I did think it was important enough to record and not lose possibly going back to sleep. Anyways, here I am.
My thoughts were my pride had been hurt last Friday when I had to suffer the consequences of my actions. I kept defending my position I am right and they are wrong. No one wants to admit they could be wrong and maintain their self confidence? Is that what pride is?
I already told the story that I could be a major representative for cannabis and was in effect called a drunk and asked to leave a cannabis social club. The establishment is a dab bar whose mission is to allow their patrons to get as intoxicated as they wish there. I felt disrespected to be called a drunk when I had not consumed any alcohol for a week nor had taken a “hit” from anyone’s vaporizer. I was over medicated on cannabis oil ingested previously.
My last consumption of any alcohol was a half glass of wine a week ago. I am a medical marijuana patient, consuming a massive amount of THC and one of the side effects can be behavior. I cannot report objectively as to how I behaved that night or any night. This because I am the patient. The patient is not qualified nor should they be permitted to also be therapist/caregiver and consume that much THC without a properly trained and licensed caregiver. I don’t have one. I have a person that claims to be my caregiver. That is pathetic as it is documented with the Gresham Police. My inter-relational behavior in public can also be documented by contacting the Gresham, Oregon police and fire departments. Just ask the lieutenant.
It wasn’t a physical confrontation, it was I became more confident and therefore more assertive. My caregiver is a cannabis self-medicating schizophrenic/bipolar patient. She has been off traditional anti-psychotics the last 2 years. The prior 2 years she was there were 4 hospitalization/institutionalizations. She is unqualified to be a caregiver. If you want clarification ask about it in the comment section.
To still defend my actions and perspective, I firmly believe my position and actions were appropriate and correct. I was right and they were wrong. But they had the power and so I capitulated. What I am getting at is in order to function in society best practices dictate an MMJ patient being accompanied with someone who can assist them. In the case of driving, negotiation of contracts, any critical undertakings really it seems very important to have that objective eye of a non-intoxicated observer. The designated driver in the bar scene. Otherwise you’re a rec user.
What I see is I have been wrong in my actions. I haven’t been violent, although that could have easily have happened with Laura as why the police were called. What it is, is that I have appeared in public intoxicated on THC unaccompanied. I have been a drunk in public presenting myself as a rec user.
I am not a rule follower. I am not a rule breaker. I act like a lawyer and figure out a way to break the law legally. I am a trained “lawyer”, just not licensed to practice law here yet. Also if here is a problem I work on a solution to solve it. That is the basis of our ticketing kiosk/280E solution. I will probably always be this way of needing what I want and wanting what I need. I have also operated from the knowledge that money and power get you what you want.
What I was getting at was for society to work there have to be rules otherwise there would be anarchy and chaos. It would be difficult for a productive society to form without some system of rules and regulations. I will not defend my position in this blog again unless asked in a comment. I will however, explain the rationale for the theory. That would be the legal justification.
The alcohol trade have bouncers in bars to maintain a sense of “order”. Drunks are thrown out of bars. Do we need bouncers in cannabis social clubs for wasted rec users? When customers in a bar get too intoxicated they cut them off. An MMJ patient unaccompanied is a rec user. I believe there should be a policy that all MMJ patients should be accompanied in a social club. I also believe to maintain a pleasant and relaxed atmosphere in a social club probably best practices dictate a “bouncer” present in these clubs. Maybe not a bouncer but more of a concierge to see if everyone is having a good time. If someone is disrupting the scene I believe the establishment has the right to ask them to leave. I thought rules in a dab bar? WTF.
7:00 AM – I am finished with my post and now am tired as I have been awake since a little after 4 AM. I have to work now. I just realized that I have been working the last 3 hours formulating and writing, in fact I work 24/7. Everything is work in progress and not piecemeal now. I am eliminating this feeling of guilt for lack of production. So I have a job to do. I’m going back to bed and take a nap. I will proof it later.
8:40 AM – Laid down and rested, did not sleep. Took my blood pressure again when laid down and when got up. 132/92 and then 122/82. I have not taken any additional medication since midnight. I believe I will wean myself down and spread this out over 3 weeks with the medication I have left which is about 10 grams.
I met the new neighbors, actually just introduced myself to her. She seemed nice but a little bit stressed and not wanting to talk. So I excused myself quickly, apologized for disturbing them and offered assistance if they needed anything. I hadn’t accomplished all that I wanted to in that first introduction but probably what was appropriate. I have realized its not always about me and what I want. Any type of interaction whether it is business, social or intimate is all predicated on building rapport, finding a need and providing relief from that pain point. But people don’t always want the same thing as you want.
Everyone you meet is a suspect that they want your product, service, friendship or presence. That is not true. The key is recognizing that, accepting it and moving on to your next prospect that appreciates and wants your product, service, friendship or presence. The tagline for MJ FUSE is “We only work with the best, everyone else can have the rest.” It may sound arrogant but the concept is we help the companies that want to work with us.
11-1-16 12:04 AM PDT
I have been here in Oregon almost a year now. I know that because I had Thanksgiving dinner last year with Ashley the waitress. Read the blog you will get it.
10-29-16 1:09 AM PDT
I went out tonight and was over medicated but wanted to go out and socialize. I walked to the bus stop because I knew I probably could drive safely but shouldn’t drive. So I took the TriMet.
I am going to post on a vblog all my selfies from tonight. I really didn’t have a very well received interaction tonight at the NW Cannabis Club. I was perhaps over medicated but wanted to get out and relax. I was called a drunk and threatened being thrown out of the club for being an over medicated patient. My intention was that I am going to go to the grand opening of a competitor that wants me to promote them. I am not sure how much they want to be promoted but if I become the chief lobbyist for the cannabis industry, which I believe is what I was offered should probably be of value to someone. All the groups I belong to someone should be able to sign a personal service contract where I’ll promote their cause, product or service.
What I did was turn everyone off there as they were not interested in what I had to offer which is my services which really are myself, So I am willing to “pimp” myself out and “be your bitch” for a year promoting whatever. My daughter works for an advertising firm that could probably monetize it. I’m tired, I’m going to bed. I want to associate myself with people that find as much value in me as I believe I have in myself.
I went into the bar walking home from bus stop. Lot of drunk people. That would have been a great segment. I used to get hammered with alcohol and now cannabis put me where I don’t like the taste of it. First time I’m in there and its like I’m rehearsing but actually scouting location. I’m doing what I have to do to be successful. I’m doing it solo. I want a volunteer videographer to help launch Cannabis Reality.
10-27-16 10:15 AM PDT
There is so much I want to verbalize right now. I’d like to record it on video or write out everything here, but it is really so much drivel as far as I’m concerned. I’m just whining about no one understands or “gets” me. I do realize that I’m currently on some very heavy dose of THC (the equivalent of smoking about 80 joints a day with someone else.) but i believe I make sense. It seems logical to me. I do notice I am getting rather excitable with people when that don’t really get what I am saying. But that is the way of the world.
The Muslims don’t understand the Christians and Jews who don’t understand Muslims. The Republicans can’t stand Democrats who think that all the Republicans are uncaring, egotistical imbeciles. We seem to not be able to effectively express our ideas to our rivals let alone our friends and relatives.
There are always disagreements about what is right and what is wrong along with opinions. Am I right? I think I am right. Am I right all the time? I think I am until proven differently. That is a “difficulty” of mine in that I am open and willing to listen to others. Does it make me easily manipulated? Maybe, but I believe I am open to being closed and willing to listen.
The reason I thought about this subject at all is what happened yesterday. I recorded this on a vblog but haven’t uploaded. I didn’t want to put this story down in writing but here goes. I need (want) someone to proof this before I post it or anything at all is published but I don’t have an editor yet. I am DOING EVERYTHING by myself. I think this “business” can be hugely successful and do a lot of good. What I see is I haven’t been able to attract any support in the form of employees nor investor capital. This because they hear I am seeking volunteers instead of actual employees. Right now all my sales positions are commission only sales with no base salary. I tell applicants I can pay a salary but only if there is money in the bank and that comes from sales. So after the 7 extra lines here goes again:
Laura received here disability check yesterday. $454 deposited directly into her pseudo debit card bank account which is a prepaid debit card with MetaBank. MetaBank is an online bank out of Iowa. Laura is an untreated schizophrenic/bi-polar patient. She is also a “body” that ballooned up to 200 pounds on anti-psychotic medicines that BTW didn’t work. She is now self-prescribing cannabis for her condition. She is disabled and cannot or is unwilling to hold a job. I’m supporting her even though I am not under obligation to do that but she would be homeless without me.
She asked me to take her to a local dispensary in order to purchase her medicine. That is one of my problems with my treatment. I am the patient and have no real caretaker or therapist to oversee my treatment or that I am willing to allow to . I haven’t found anyone here that I feel comfortable with in their expertise. I have done most of my research about treatment from the internet as to regimen, dosage and modalities. Having almost 30 years formal education with 2/3 of it in science and technology, I can discern appropriate regimens.
Even though he had heart disease, I just realized that someone died in my office from an overdose of medication I administered, so maybe I’m not the best practitioner to treat my condition. I have been attempting to persuade Mary, the oncologist, to move up here to set up a MMJ cancer center to treat cancer patients with cannabis. She has practiced conventional medical oncology for almost 40 years. I told her this could be her legacy but it may not sink in until after she is gone. Part of my fantasy world is where she is the founder of the future NW Cannabis Medical Center.
My disagreement with Laura was I advised her to get a quarter ounce now and I could procure a half pound from a wholesaler I know for $300. Granted, that is shake or leaves versus $200 for an ounce of “buds” but is only $100 more for 8 times as much and I’d give her the $100. She bought the quarter.
That should be okay as it was her money to do as she wanted. I however, knew I was right about this as it is only logical and she was wrong. But was she wrong? We got back in the car and I asked her if she knew how many ounces were in a pound and then a half pound. After telling me she didn’t sign up for any math quiz she told me 8 ounces equal a half pound. So I invalidated her action and asked her how much a half pound would cost in there. Again, the math quiz response.
She also reminded me that when she first arrived here in Oregon I said I would get her the half pound then but didn’t because of a disagreement with another wholesaler as to price and quantity after the agreement had been made. That time I started buying her medicine in quarter ounce quantities at a higher price in a dispensary.
What I’m getting at is I knew I was right and she knew she was right. That is the problem all these diverse factions with the notion they are right and everyone else is wrong. She got back to the house, lit up her medicine and everything was fine. Hmm….. maybe Bob Dylan was right “Everyone must get stoned.”
10-20-16 10:11 AM PDT
I really don’t want to do this podcast/blog/vblog by myself. I am talking with a couple of friends that are thinking about retiring but don’t want to. Retire you die. Come up here to do this with me and give their expertise to reel me in and balance. Maybe only couple weeks. I need money and I need actual support. I can pay for support with money. Need and wants are the same thing for me now. So I need money and can get it from these friends of mine and I’ll give them more than what they are giving me in the way of excitement, entertainment and money. What I need is money along with business and relationship support. That will get me where I want to be. I don’t feel like going anywhere today. I need someone here to motivate me.
Talked with Brit and I think she gets what this is. Really, it is hard to fathom and believe and she will have to put in sweat equity, but this is like offering her a CEO position of a top 100 company. I do like her and hope she succeeds. She seems like she is pretty bright but also looks hot so she presents well to the public.
10-19-16 11:57 AM PDT
This is barely a Morning Thought as it is 3 minutes until afternoon. I did some recording to upload to the podcast/vblog this morning. I watched something I uploaded to YouTube on Monday and it is really depressing. I have got to change my attitude. I mean I don’t want to watch that depressing shit of this bald headed depresses SOB whine about how miserable his life is. And that is me but it’s not me! I don’t ac like that or do I? I will admit I am depressed. I didn’t want to get up this morning and I finally got up at 7:22 needing to get ready and leave for a meeting by 7:45 to get to downtown Portland by 8:30 so I went back to bed and got up to go jogging at 7:50. I didn’t get back to sleep even though I am exhausted. I laid there thinking I should go to the meeting because you missed it last week. Then I thought I need to buy tickets and thought I have money coming in, but I need to pay bills. I am so put out with worrying about money. I am doing ok as the last 2 days I did $2400 in sales and and done $200 today so far. I have enough to survive just not thrive which is what I want.
I filled up 12 capsules with RSO last night and went to take a dose at 2 AM when got up but couldn’t find them in refrigerator. I dug around in the trash and in the refrig but couldn’t find them. I thought Laura probably hid them since I didn’t get her medicine last night. I was pissed and asked her who told her she needed “medicine” since she is not a registered patient of MMJ and no one has recommended it. She is a Recreational User. She probably would be a patient but doesn’t have a card.
I am going to discontinue doing any of those video blog recording they are worth watching. Right now they are all the same depressing shit and I don’t want to watch them and I can’t think of anyone else wanting to watch. Maybe if I got some followers asking for more I would. I am starting to doubt whether the RSO is doing anything for the prostate cancer. That is a tall order to fill. I believe cannabis oil can be effective treating and killing cancer cells but is probably too early now. Maybe 10, 20 or 50 years from now. I feel that I am becoming symptomatic as I believe the prostate is enlarged from when first discovered. The PSA went down and I thought all right this is working, but haven’t had tested recently. Quite frankly I don’t want to get any bad news. Like if I don’t hear it it’s not true?
I am depressed and I know what to do to get out of it. I do have PTSD and it is subsequent to the 4 years I spent incarcerated and everything I lost. I was doing great until I broke my ankle 18 months ago. Coincidentally, I had started the cannabis treatment 2 months prior.
The breaking my ankle and the subsequent recovery I am not sure caused Laura and my separation. After she had to be my caregiver during that time we haven’t been the same. The effects were that she did not love me any longer. I guess she forgot about the sickness and health thing but actually we never exchanged vows and were simply common law married. That said we were legally divorced in 2000 and never remarried.
I am going to finish this later in Afternoon or Evening because it is 1:32 PM now.
10-18-16 1:42 AM PDT
I am so frustrated feeling underutilized all around. I was utilized before and was quite successful but now seems difficult to be taken seriously as to what I am marketing, what I am selling. I am not being successful selling. What do I need to do? Stop being needy. How do you stop being needy? Well first you have to stop the need to be needy.
How many times a day do we disparage our abilities and successes by listening to others or even worse telling ourselves what “we need to do”? I need to behave or do this to be successful. I need to do that to accomplish my goal. I keep saying to myself “I need to get more money in.” Well you look for whatever you can do and then you do whatever it takes to accomplish that which now you know you can.
Those are the principles of marketing and really any business whether the cannabis industry or the ticket business. Stop listening to people that tell you what you need to do and do what you know you have to do to accomplish that goal. But you may find that what you know you have to do to accomplish that goal is what you were told you need to do originally.
I was talking with several people and the topic of being needy came up. The despair of separation, the desire to reunite, that desperate feeling of hopelessness for something that has been taken away. Let me tell you those images do not paint a desirable picture. Needy is not attractive whether it is on a man or on a woman.
How Do You Stop Being Needy? You do what you want to do. I have learned now that to be happy I have to be successful and I have further I cannot be successful by myself alone. I do what I do best and I leave everything else to all the rest. That is what I do best and it is what I want to do.
10-17-16 9:29 AM PDT
I did some video bogs this morning so will not write a lot here. The video blog link for today is here. Problem is it is ALL Raw footage now and unedited so there will be some wading through. Somebody asked me last week if I were self-conscious doing a blog but particularly a reality television show or video blog. I thought I went through strip searches 3 times a day. Somebody criticizing me verbally for something I said or did, would I feel embarrassed about that or self-conscious about it? Maybe, but would it keep me from doing what I needed to do to succeed? Probably not.
My parents both passed away at age 92 along with my aunt who also died at that same age. They all told me with their wisdom “Don’t ever discuss politics or religion in public.” Those two subject have been the basis of most wars and arguments on this planet. It’s the easiest way to get someone upset with you is to disparage someone’s politics or religion. So what do I do? I make this blog and my video blog about my thoughts on religion and politics. If that’s not enough controversy I throw in sex, drugs, alcohol and cannabis to make this even more politically incorrect.
People tell me all the time “dude what you write is way too much inappropriate disclosure.” That is the way this blog/reality business works as it’s about exposure and people’s interest levels. Look at Kim Kardashian. After her sex tape was released she received all the negative blowback. However, that resulted in tremendous exposure and support which eventualized into her popularity and success. In advertising and marketing you pick your platform and you do what you need to do to make your campaign successful. Do I like it? Yea, but I’d rather be in bed sleeping.
10-16-16 8:20 AM PDT
It’s Sunday morning. Really I feel like staying in bed until noon sleeping. I also feel guilty because I’m not doing anything. WTF am I supposed to do, it’s Sunday. I’m going to my coffee meeting with the group of heathens this morning – the PDX Atheists Meetup Group. I joined and belong to a bunch of these meetup groups. I missed 2 or 3 last week as wanted to go but just didn’t. I am not going to take any med until get back even though feel kind of funky emotionally.
I feel kind of isolated here even though surrounded by people. I suppose it is depression. I guess I’m just bummed about my life circumstances. I think about where I’m at and all the things I’ve experienced and should be grateful but life is not where I want it now. I am not homeless. I have a job, I live with a woman and 2 dogs. I have a car and a social life as I went to the Ludacris concert last night and had a good time. The event was billed as “Boo Bomb” with Ludacris, Jagged Edge, En Vogue, Color Me Badd, Sugar Hill Gang & Young MC. I was in the 5th Row Center Floor, great seats and sat next to a pretty woman that I joked with. I just wasn’t satisfied with the evening.
Why would I be dissatisfied with that? I’m not earning enough money to support my lifestyle. Could I downsize? Yes. Do I want to? Fuck no, I have downsized so much and lost so much from where I was at, why should I give up more. My personal mantra which my grandfather told me years ago and I have said for years: “Nothing good is ever easy and nothing easy is ever good.” Entrepreneurship for me has never been easy, I have worked to be successful in the past and am working to be successful again. The successful entrepreneur is the one that doesn’t quit.
I would like this television series to take off. It will need followers and to get followers content. I guess I’m too boring to follow. I mean here is this old white guy in the 5th row of a Ludacris concert. Who wants to see him there interviewing hip hop performers?
I had a pair and another 4 pack of tickets. I pulled the 4 pack to use myself to record content. (I have to go get ready – will finish later under Afternoon Thoughts or Evening Thoughts if Cowboys game is broadcast.)
I expect this TV deal to work but can’t do it alone. Maybe if I could entertain like Obama does. I watched his speech at the White House Correspondents Dinner Speech. His speech writer was great but his delivery even better. Some people hate him and others love him but he has a following. Maybe this is unrealistic now but I would like to be in a position where I was well known as MJ Mike and our show was so popular we could have him on the show after he is out of office. Preferably he smokes a bowl with us. Would that get viewership? Most definitely. Is it going to happen? Probably not.
My plan last night was to go to the last night. Record the evening, edit the material and post as content. The people I went with said they have 1.7 million viewers on their podcast for Hip Hop Magazine and they had contacts with the groups performing. Did we do an interview? No. Did we record? Sort of on the iPhone, which mine died when Luda came on.
There is a policy at the Moda Center no recording audio or video equipment. Exceptions are for Press Media and representatives. I do have a Press Pass from Cannabis Reality, that looks sot of official. We are a media company and I am the Producer/Director/On Air Talent so should be official. The old adage “You fake it until you make it.”
I went jogging this morning and while jogging saw 2 young dudes and a chick and I thought they would be good interview subjects but I don’t have my phone/camera. I run home and get it and jog back. This is one of my first interviews and I’m still looped from medication last night/this morning so this may be used but probably not. I got their permission to record but not sure if I actually asked their age. Experience will help and maybe if had some help. Anyways, I’m not an interviewer but maybe I can learn to be one. Practice. The data results were that of 3 young people that smoked marijuana if someone came up to them on the street would they answer yes or no. All 3 said yes. This was in contrast to the small study (11) I performed a month ago in 2 dispensaries where 55% gave a false negative response. I believe my conclusions to that were posted on this blog earlier but will upload the unedited interview later to YouTube Here.
It is 11:24 AM now. I did the videos and will upload. I had meant to do a recording of me talking with Paypal. Actually, I wiil do a video talking with the Paypal employee Debit
I was going to make my next post for the Afternoon Thoughts but it is 8:02 AM now. So to solve that dilemma (yes, that is the correct spelling, look it up ) I will schedule the post for the afternoon? I am post 2 doses of medication last night. The doses fill a 500 mg capsule approximately 90% with the current batch of RSO I have been taking the last 2 months. It calculated out at about 57%/37% THC/CBD. with the last dose at about 3 AM. Normally I take 3-4 doses of that a day for treatment.
I am thinking the purpose of this particular segment of the blog will be about the effects of my treatment and the side effects. Along with that will be some of my thoughts that come up with I’ll put down also. This feels sort of cathartic so and I have an urge to purge it, so to speak.
Ok, so my dog I’m thinking is so stupid that she will not come in out of the rain and is just standing on the sidewalk getting wet. I’m standing in the doorway and my other neighbor walks by. Of course I have to stop him because I want to talk. It’s all about me you know but makes me happy. I don’t think I’m obnoxious as I will pick up on facial expressions and pause and say something like “I’m sorry, I have a tendency to just stark talking and ramble on about it. Is this of interest to you?” Surprisingly, most people will tell me oh yea and ask me to continue. I sometimes wonder if they are being completely honest or just being “Portland Nice”. Sometimes, I say and do things that I know are inappropriate disclosure, but I do it anyways because…. It is 8:24 now and I have to get to ticket business work – Coldplay tickets released this morning, general sale on Friday or Saturday. I’ll come back an finish under Afternoon and I’ll post this in Morning. Bye.
Actually, Coldplay goes on sale here at 10 AM but Houston at 9 AM. I could probably easily spend $20,000, maybe even $100K pull tickets for their upcoming tour but I am under capitalized and can only buy a pair on the floor in Houston. I pulled a pair on the 9th row floor and they cost me $518.15. I recheck 3 minutes later and the best I can pull are row are row 27 and 5 minutes later, nothing in the front sections of the floor. This is not rocket science, anyone can buy tickets. I like the feeling of buying good seats and that they will be available for someone to enjoy. I can but don’t always do make a sizable profit for my endeavors.
I am frustrated by this as I have the expertise and knowledge to do this ticket business successfully but don’t have the wherewithal to hire others to assist me nor really do it correctly. I’m listed as a large seller on Stubhub, but I wouldn’t consider that as I’m only generating about $21K a month in sales with the retail value of my inventory less than $65,000.
People, disparage the business as having negatives associated with it but it is legal. I like it well enough and enjoy doing it, particularly more than direct sales because there is really not much selling when I get the order. It is kind of like cannabis sales as people want what you have and come to you. However, there are always haters in anything, especially cannabis and concert tickets. Being a ticket broker is what I found I could do as the competition in the IT fields are so immense and I’m an old fart now compared to all the other network engineers. I can’t practice dentistry as I’m not licensed and so far removed probably couldn’t pass the test if I could take it. The stockbroker/investment banker gig would be to start over at entry level, so no.
So, if I could I would have a different career as my public image such as the ad agency for cannabis and be the reality TV star/personality character would be what I’d like. With that, let Jake or someone run the ticket business but as I have said the ONLY thing making me any living now is this ticket business. I was talking with someone that lives on less than $1600 a month social security and I’m having a hard time with $10,000. Of course I’m supporting the cannabis business which isn’t supporting me. I just paid $530 rent and $435 past due phone bill for the office I’m not using. I need to make sales and am not doing it as I hate it. I’m not above sales, but really burn out about pitching anything. What I would like to do is pitch the people that will pitch our products. Write on this blog, do the reality TV spots and be successful in the cannabis industry.
I’m going to look at tickets now and close this even though I do have more to say. I need more time and more money, I need some outside help. I am looking for a co-founder to compliment me in the business haven’t found anyone yet that I’m comfortable with or that they are as a partnership is like a marriage only different.
10-11-15 Tuesday morning 6:28 AM PDT
I was watching some politician last night, they ALL sound alike just different wording. This was one that was denying global warming existence. It’s like listening to a three year saying they didn’t wet their pants with them standing there in soiled clothing. I mean WTF, I moved from Texas and when I was growing up, and that was over 50 years ago, it never got to 110 degrees in the summer. That is warm and it is happening all over the planet. We are like infants left here. The inhabitants on earth are similar to your child that leaves his books out in the rain and get ruined. We are leaving our planet in all this crap in the form of pollutants and toxins. We can’t just go out and purchase a new earth like you can get another set of books, it’s a lot more critical.
We are in global warming. The polar ice cap is melting, sea levels are up along with carbon dioxide in the air. There are more severe storms now than 20 years ago. There is more extreme weather, the oceans are more acidic and temperatures are just hotter now everywhere, even Antarctica. Studies suggest consensus among scientists is as high as 97 percent that we are in a state of global warming now. Global warming DOES exist. It is very easy to fix global warming, environmental problems and greenhouse gases. Let’s just grow up and bring our books in. Come on Don, Mark and all you other deniers, change your diapers they stink. (Note: None on that list of global change deniers are from Oregon but 17 are from Texas.)
Went out last night to my group meeting of the atheists. Laura wouldn’t go, she has gotten Jesus and the bible, thinks I’m possessed by demons, alien robots whatever. So I believe in God but I also don’t think it is my responsibility to convince anyone else that he does exist. I hate writing. I am not a writer I am a story teller, not a great storyteller but I can get great storytellers to tell their stories. I get on this cannabis medicine and I have to tell my story and then tell it badly. Talking about tangent shit (oops should have put in crap) like talking to people about religion and God at this atheist prayer meeting. They know I don’t profess to be atheist nor agnostic. They ask me prove God exists – not my job, he exists for me and fuck that’s really all that counts in an existential world. Really I have concluded that God does not exist for me in this lifetime, and that is really, really sad. I mean I started crying right now thinking of that. Go get coffee and come back.
Well, I just went wiped my eyes and came back to write while fresh. I hate this writing as my thoughts race a lot faster than my fingers. Anyways, I was thinking as usual coming down off the heavy medication I took after coming home last night. Reflecting on my life, where I am at, at this age in life. Lot of my friends and relatives are retired or talking about it, of those people that are still speaking to me. I move 2000 miles to start a new business that has not done anything in an industry that is about to sky rocket. My ticket business is marginally successful, it would do great but mainly don’t have the capital. Got all these people want to raise or lend me money that is going to cost too much to do much good. Not that it costs too much – I don’t want to pay them to raise me money before delivery. You raise the money I’ll pay you, but the people that are willing to take it on the back end want 40-50%. That’s the kind of deal they did at Stratton Oakmont and JW Gant.
Anyways I’m stressed about money, business, personal life. I do not feel successful in life as at this age I expected to be a respected member of the community as some type of successful business man with a loving family and lots of friends and acquaintances. And I have worked for that with almost 30 years of formal education and had that idyllic life. Read up about me, what I had done before, what I had accomplished. Then it was all taken away and I am struggling, living with my ex and soon to be further ex-wife who hates me and wishes me dead. People ask me if I believe in God and I say yes I believe God exists he exists within and we all have to be godlike when others act to us as humans act towards God.
I mean fuck why should I help this bitch that hates me and only here hoping I will die off and she can lay claim to a $250K life policy. I mean she claims to be godlike and here to help me and that I asked her here. That was the biggest mistake. Laura has alienatated everyone else in her life and she trying to do that with her last friend – me. She stays in bed until about 4 PM just to get up and tell me how bad a person I am for not giving her $5000 a month. We were already divorced and this is not a community property state. So I am helping her out of the goodness of my heart. I believe in Karma. I probably would have been homeless if not for Mary helping me but I did save her $3 million by divorcing her and her being excluded from my problems. If Fat Fuck Frankie had gotten that $3 million he probably wouldn’t have come after me, only God knows – wait there is no god at least that’s what some people keep telling me.
Had to stop and go to what I thought was throw up. I took probably 1200 mg BSO last night and early this morning so heavy meds. So I go to this social meeting with group of atheists to socialize as my social life is in the shitter. I go to business meetings and I’m not being successful there. I haven’t actually seen anyone in my family living here IN PORTLAND since I moved here last November. And not for lack of trying. With that I do feel that I am on my own. I was excommunicated from my church and then sent to prison for doing the job I was trained for, just maybe not doing it the way I was trained. We all are responsible for our actions. Our rewards and punishments are directly related to what we do and say. For a lot of people what all they do is to say, with me included. (I thought that was profound so I came back and added emphasis here.) Most people never ever really DO anything all they ever do is TALK about what they can DO. I don’t really provide a product but rather a service and people pay for it if they like what I say. I do so many things and all seem to be floundering for now. I need capital. The most successful is the ticket brokerage and I ate $1000 this weekend which is terrible. I need that $1000. Is ticket brokerage this fantastic business where you hoard up tickets and then sell them for enormous profits, no but sometimes it is. Sort of like gambling and cannabis?
I mean I am not happy with the direction that my life has taken to this point. My health is not like it was when I was 30. I’m bitching about problems, everyone has problems and I was thinking in certain things I am in the 90th percentile or higher, so why am I complaining. There are things that I or anyone would like to have and I’m bitching because I don’t have them. Like Tony Montana said first you get the money, then the power and (politically corrected) the woman. I still think of what he said as pussy, not the changed politically corrected version of “woman” in the movie released now. Maybe I’m not politically correct myself, maybe I’m still not that old or that I don’t “act my age” as I still have a drive to succeed and procreate. I go to an atheist meeting and I say things like yea well we are on the devil’s planet so why would God exist here or that we are just stupid humans in the universal evolutionary time line and anyone that professes to be atheist are egotistical megalomaniacs attempting to erroneously hold that spot at the top of the chain. Give it up, we are the subject not the experimenters. I only had 2 beers but I guess mixed with the cannabis still in my system. I don’t think I put a really intelligent point of view out there as I had intended. All of it made complete sense to me – LOL. I am somewhat restrained as if I verbalized everything I thought out loud I would probably be locked up too. Still I am very guilty of inappropriate disclosure, look at this blog. – again LOL
Anyways, didn’t really click with anyone there. Right now I’m not getting the woman nor the pussy. LOL. Mary is 2000 miles away, Laura is crazy, the women I meet here are damaged, not interested in some old fart or they are in my same age and weight class and I’m not interested in them. The meeting last night was about 6 men to every woman and only 2 or 3 I was interested in. There were a couple drunk chicks that I started talking with outside and seemed receptive. I just didn’t want to put the energy out there to motivate them if I hadn’t already and I’m really tired of condom sex. I want
a companion that is my friend I can talk with. Haven’t found them here yet but I keep praying. It’s knowing to whom to pray to is the key For now on this planet God does not exist for anyone else but me because he is within us. God will exist for you within yourself and is not your place to make that real for anyone else. I will not profess to be an atheist in a godless world either.
I will probably get into trouble for using these pictures but these are women that contacted me to be friends on Match and Facebook.
I have to go take care of my dog, she is whining about something. The back door is open and it’s raining, of course it’s raining this is Portland. I like the rain here, it is not like the rain in Texas where the clouds get angry with the sky and create lightening and thunder. There is no lightening here, which is weird but something about electrical activity which has to do with positive and negative forces. Does God exist yes, does he exist here, I don’t know as there are a lot of professed atheists here so? I’m going to go and see if I can watch the Cowboys today they play the Bengals at 1:30. Funny, in Texas the Cowboys were gods and some of them thought they were also.
It is hilarious, Laura has hidden or lost all my remote controls so I can’t access the cable on the tv, the DVR or DVD. She thinks someone has come in and stolen them. So I called the cable company, after making sure I wasn’t so far behind on payment that they would handle customer service without asking for money. I hate this no money crap. Anyways, they say I can come get a new remote but the closest store 6 minutes away is closed on Sundays, the next is 21 minutes away but I can download remote app to my phone and they will send me the controller in 3-5 days by mail. I do that and the Cowboys are not playing here today on cable and the Game Pass with NFL only rebroadcasts, no live TV only live radio. That’s crap, why would anyone pay $99 for that? Are we having fun yet?
I probably need an editor as this just rambles – LOL
Trust, Ethics & Money
What does it take to abandon your ethics for money? Is it that the person and their family are hungry and they need some food to eat today? So they do whatever it takes to make sure they and their family can. On the surface that sounds good as the person is doing what is necessary to provide for their family’s well being. Or does it mean that the person is desperate because the new Lamborghinis are out and that executive wants one and he needs more money or he won’t be able to buy it – now that is desperate.
Seriously, many people confuse needs and wants. In Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs there is no mention of mansions, fancy sports cars, trips to the Bahamas or private jets. It is mentioned that physiological needs such as food, clothing, shelter are the most important with psychological and self-fulfillment needs not as critical.
Nice things are exactly that nice. I have lived where I had money and also where I had absolutely no money in my wallet and all my bank accounts overdrawn. I can say without wavering it is far better to have money.
What is it that makes people so desperate for money that they will abandon their ethics to get money but also hoard it once they have it? The second scenario can be the result of where people have gotten their money dishonestly to begin with. They are afraid someone else is going to come along and take the money they have now the same underhanded way they got it originally. Those that don’t trust usually can’t be trusted.
The main problem with Trust, Ethics & Money is the general opinion in society that all is fair in love, war and business. Along that same train of thought is that since politics is controlled by business and that money is the driving force in business, then it is expected to use politics to improve your business with money and the tool to accomplish it. There is a common perception, particularly in finance now, that whatever you can do to get ahead is actually a good thing as long as you win. Many adhere to Vince Lombardi’s adage that “Winning isn’t everything; it’s the only thing” there is even an annual conference
Winning is Everything. But how desperate does someone have to be to abandon their ethics for money. I wrote an article about that right after I broke my ankle. Here is is.
I moved to Oregon from Texas last November. Recently, Gallup conducted a poll regarding adult usage of marijuana. I believe the resulting numbers are artificially skewed low at 13% for yes. I visited 2 dispensaries/rec stores yesterday doing market research posing as a customer. I purchased two 1 gram packages at each store. I conducted a small, quick survey myself of the people waiting to enter the sales areas. In the first there were 6 patrons waiting and I stated that recently Gallup conducted a poll regarding cannabis use. My question was “if someone approached you on the street with a clipboard and they said your answers will be completely anonymous but asked you if you smoked marijuana what would you say?” 4 of the 6 and 3 of the 5 in the other store said they would answer negatively. That was 55% would answer falsely. My basis for this assumption is that every one of these were customers there for the explicit purpose to buy cannabis. I don’t believe any of them appeared to be buying for their 5 year old epileptic child.
That was a very small study and because of that not statistically significant. The implications of this could be numerous. I know how marketing and advertising works. I have my own ideas about what these results mean but I believe the numbers are way low. 58% of the adult population support legalization. The American people don’t support something that they don’t personally believe in and use.
I think there are 2 possible answers to this. The first would be as I have stated above that these numbers are false and the results are erroneously low. The second and more ominous would be a deliberate attempt to publish low numbers. Everyone understands that cannabis is the fastest growing industry in the world now. I believe that the actual target market is closer to 50%, not 13%. If the market is in reality 4 times what it appears on the surface and your goal is to control that market once it is matured and seasoned, wouldn’t it make sense to ward off other competitors? Cannabis will become legal in 5-10 years and at that time there will be a cannabis aisle in every Costco or Walmart.
The cannabis industry is a huge industry right now, but will get even bigger. It is too disjointed and dominated by paranoia, maybe rightly so. Our competition is not amongst ourselves but rather outside. When I first started MJ Consulting some 20 year old called me a civilian. That was hilarious as I have been a patient for the last 18 months but I’ve been a fan since I was a teenager back in Texas. Last time I grew was while in college in the 70s.
The business would be a lot more profitable now if it weren’t for all the rules, regulations, taxes and fees that are absent in other industries. There are things that can be done now to make and keep more money. I asked an accountant here in Portland that handles the majority of cannabis businesses what he was doing about 280E. His answer was nothing just recommending to pay the taxes. Well it’s not his money. He had looked at our 280E solution putting in a secondary business into retail operations. I asked if he had any strategy and he said “no, I don’t want to raise any red flags and get an audit.” I asked if he thought all his clients would be audited because of the nature of the business and he responded affirmatively. I probably didn’t handle it correctly since I likened his “can’t do anything about it” attitude to what got 6 million Jews killed in the Holocaust. Maybe I overreacted comparing the elimination to 6 million human lives to having to pay exorbitant taxes, but I thought he is useless as a CPA. An accountant’s duty is to find ways to reduce taxes, research them and then give his recommendation. The business owners job is to decide to implement or not.
My ex-wife the physician told me she needed to find an new accountant as hers of many years was retiring. I asked her what type she was looking for. She said “I don’t want a daredevil, someone who will take questionable deductions and get me in an audit.” That is the mindset of most accountants. They believe all their clients are physicians, dentists and other conservative businessmen and women. That is not the case in cannabis. The entrepreneurs in cannabis are pioneers willing to take risks. They are working in an illegal industry that they have the potential of losing all their possessions and could end up going to jail for. They didn’t get in the business for a few pennies but rather more. As Vincente Sederberg, a cannabis attorney from Denver states on his homepage:
“Our clients are trailblazers, building a new and vibrant industry from scratch. Each and every one of them has made a conscious decision to assume a certain level of risk in order to change the course of history. As trailblazers ourselves, we take pride in being with them every step along the way, helping them navigate and overcome unique legal and regulatory challenges. We understand every aspect of the marijuana industry — even aspects that are not yet fully developed. Whether you are looking to enter the industry or invest in it, we can assist and guide you.”
Find attorneys, accountants, consultants, vendors and advisors that actually help you. There are way too many in the industry now just trying to make a quick buck. Everyone has their hand out wanting you to put money in it. I tell people if you advertise there are 2 important things to remember. First, your results should be quantifiable. Secondly, you should have a minimum ROI of 2 to 1. Our 280E solution is sold as a way to increase sales but can reduce taxes also. It is a 27 to 1 return. Our original tag line for MJ Consulting was “Making Cannabis Distribution Profitable” as that is the purpose .
I’ve been in advertising since I spun off Alphadontics in 1986 as a specialty advertising firm when I was a practicing periodontist. I believe it is what gave my daughter an early interest in the field. She now works as the creative director for a major traditional ad agency, having done a couple Super Bowl commercials.
Many of the current entrepreneurs in this industry are operating with a false sense of security. They say “We don’t need advertising, we’re too busy now”. I congratulate them for their success now but the landscape of the industry can and will change. We are seeking the visionaries in this field and not looking for those that will be flipping burgers in 5-10 years. We want the groups that understand business and want to be the Pizza Hut or Anheiser Busch of cannabis even though they are not there yet.
Cannabis advertising now consists of almost all branding or what I refer to as “Junk Advertising“. Advertising in cannabis is not the same as selling dish soap or Toyotas. The restrictive limitations are numerous, no television, radio, limited print and display ads. So many are turning to what they believe is their only alternative, “Specialty Advertising” This is a necessary part to building a brand and getting awareness. Currently it seems that the only real advertising is in social media.
I talk with cannabis business owners everyday and they all want a free consult which I’m willing to give. I will ask them what they are doing with social media. They will say Facebook, Twitter and Instagram and doing well. Myself, I thought I knew social media but it wasn’t until I hired professionals to do a consistent job that we started getting results. E Cigarettes had a similar dilemma as cannabis. The FCC banned radio and television adds. Twitter, Facebook and Instagram were off limits and the only thing was the new Google Plus. Our people were able to take e-Cigs from oblivion to a multi-billion dollar publicly traded company. We can do that for cannabis also. Our tagline now is “We Build Relationships and Provide Results.”
Went to a Meet up last night for All Things Cannabis!!! – Meet The Professionals. However not sure if that is not next Monday. There were about 10 vendors there few glass ware makers and the rest extraction processors or growers. The cost to join NW Cannabis Club – the last cannabis social club in Portland. http://www.nwcannabismarket.com cost is $20 for lifetime membership and $5 cover each time. I met a lot of people there with the main theme they were dabbing – vaporizing BHO or MJ Rosin. I still don’t like smoking and that was still harse to my lungs – I prefer to ingest. I was told no pictures because of privacy but I did take some iphone videos. I will go back next Monday and set up a table. Hopefully have someone else with me and could probably set up a camera behind me to record. People are still somewhat paranoid about cannabis even though is legal here in Oregon and also of outsiders. I believe this is the route to take to become known.
You will know you have attained your goal when you can do it effortlessly. “When you have learned to walk on the rice paper.” When you can walk without being seen by the motion detector. If you have to be undetected you won’t be. If you have to believe something is true then it won’t be. It has to be effortless to be true.