Afternoon Thoughts

9-19-17 12:21 PM PST

What Proof Do You Have?

Just because someone believes something does not make it true. Also just because something can’t be proven within the restrictions we place on ourselves here in our universe does not mean it doesn’t exist.

Many people quote scriptures as proof of something. They say that God said……….. according to The Bible with the premise that The Bible was written by God and every word is 100% true. My opinion is The Bible was written by Man, for Man to control Man. There is no proof that God wrote The Bible. The atheists all claim that God doesn’t exist anyway so no way he (or she) could have written The Bible.

Faith is a personal thing. It is your own opinion about something. With the limits of a three dimensional universe (it’s not me that says there are more than three dimensions, ask all these Big-Brain astrophysicists if more exist.) we place on ourselves here on earth and the constraints of a linear time line forward (we cannot go back to correct our mistakes) the existence of God cannot be proven. The mythical deity people call God does not limit himself to those constraints. We do in order to maintain our sanity here. Insane people operate somewhat without these constraints and act on their “delusions”. So we cannot prove God’s existence here within the limits placed on ourselves, but that does not mean God does or cannot exists. It just means the person that does not believe or refuses to believe just is not aware of their surroundings as someone that does. Some people however profess belief because someone else told them to believe. They have no actual belief but rather they are the sheep. As I said Faith is a personal thing. Believe what you believe.

So faith in something without evidence of it’s existence is an opinion that something exists and that it is true. My opinion is that God does exist because people want God to exist. I for one would rather live a life of purpose that there is something after this life and not some absolute void. You are free to believe what you want. But that’s just my opinion.

4-23-16 1:21 PM PST

Yesterday the NFL Network reran the first round of every draft since 2010, and it was fascinating to watch. You got to see the instant analysis of every pick in the moment from the future perspective, especially when you knew that prospect was now a bust.

Last year the #1 overall pick in the draft was quarterback Jared Goff, taken by the (once again) Los(t) Angeles Rams after giving up a boatload of picks to move up to #1.

While no one thought he was going to be Troy Aikman, the analysis on draft night of Goff was that he could play right away, and he had all the tools necessary to succeed.

That, obviously, is not what happened. While the Rams have severe issues on offense (such as no offensive line), Goff was not ready to start, and struggled mightily. Now, that is not unusual for a
rookie, and Goff may well become an elite quarterback in time—or he may be a dismal bust like Bob Griffin (and *I* called that one before he was drafted).

Right now, however, he doesn’t look so good, and some people in the sports world have started referring to him as “Jared Goof.” Ouch.

Think about that: in one year he went from the #1 overall pick in the draft, a “promising prospect” to merely “Jared Goof.” Now he may well drop the additional “o” by this time next year and be known as Jared Goff, ascending talent, but right now he gets the goof label. Just goes to show you how fleeting glory is, and how hard it is to stay on top.

What I learned a long time ago about success is this: it is only temporary, even fleeting, and it has to be achieved again and again and again. You don’t work hard and achieve everlasting success. You work hard, achieve temporary success, fail a lot again, work hard for more temporary success, and let the pattern repeat. Along the way you save from your temporary successes instead of squandering them, and in time you will have enough built up to last you for a long time. But your successes will never last in and of themselves.

Strangely, that is for the best. Those who luck into windfall profits never acquire the skills to profit again, nor do they know how to mentally deal with adversity. When you are constantly fighting to achieve, you learn the skills of mental toughness, you hone your instincts, you live by your wits, and you never rest on your laurels.

This is the real reward of constantly struggling to achieve the next temporary success. It is the skill set that lets you live well in this world while others are constantly frustrated by it. Yes, you
can (and will) go from the #1 pick to the #1 goof, but if you acquire this skill set, you can get back to #1, not bothered at all knowing you will be the goof once again soon enough. You will, however,
eventually be the rich goof, and that is not a bad place to be.

11-12-16 12:00 PM PST

I’ll write this later – What Happened With That Election?

11-2-16 1:19 PDT

I am working more on financing and expansion of the ticketing business along with the promotional company which will expand everything. I have a friend of mine attempting to get down here, she’s in Alaska now so it is down here. Worked with her previously and she is great at sales. She sent me several of her pictures and very pretty so she would present very well.  My problem is she is very pretty and presents very well to me.  LOL

I haven’t taken any cannabis medication since yesterday at 3 AM. This journal has been a record of notes during the time of treatment. I will be weaning myself down over the next three weeks. I will be glad to finish the treatment and stop this Journal. Maybe I should put this journal back as private because I am going effect of criticism from people I knew in Texas. Then I think what is my purpose of this and it’s public nature. What is my target market?  What is it I am trying to accomplish?

I moved here from Texas a year ago to be involved in the legal cannabis industry. This is my market and this is my blog directed to my target market here in Portland.

11-1-16 2:26 PDT

I have about 10 more days of this heavy THC treatment left. At that time I will change the format of this blog from the Journal as here to more of an article format. I went back and read some of this during the day when my therapeutic levels are lowest. Some of this is not very entertaining and somewhat strange. That said I start to doubt if I should have this available to read.

If we start to get a following for the series the blog will inevitably be followed and critiqued. I am being critical of my work. Everyone likes to hear and get positive reinforcement, me included. When someone doesn’t get the positive feedback, the void will be filled with negatives and rejection. Self doubt and lack of confidence. It is a constant struggle to keep on track moving ahead. That is one of the tasks an entrepreneur must tackle daily.

Yesterday was a good day as I did accomplish tasks. Then I invalidate myself. I question if I’m really doing anything or just fantasizing accomplishments. This particularly in this esoteric land of deal making of ideas.  I am living in this fantasy world that I am mocking up into reality.  The invalidation changes the reality back towards fantasy. My favorite saying on that is “Talk is cheap, it takes money to ride the train.”  WTF?

The offer to sit on the National Policy Committee of NCIA or even chair it to me appears to be a valuable asset. The equivalent or actual position of lobbyist. That would also render credibility for me in this industry. This could be advantageous for our businesses. Then I think is that real or am I imagining it to be real?

I will stay on a maintenance dose. Surprisingly, I believe his cannabis treatment is working with minimal physical side effects. Actually one of the side effects is that I have discontinued all blood pressure meds. I wasn’t taking cannabis for that but rather was an added advantage. And I just took my BP so was not as controlled  as desired, 136/86, but okay.  I do believe that one of the negative side effects of this is my behavior.  Personally I don’t think I’ve behaved inappropriately but have been definitely guilty of inappropriate disclosures.

I have been on cannabis treatment 19 months now originally for prostate cancer that runs in my family. Subsequently I have been treated for PTSD. Both I know have improved. The current round of RSO treatment was 93 grams over 90 days. In that span I have consumed in THC the equivalent as if I had smoked 80 joints every day with someone else.

I did this because I want to believe in the positive effects of the plant. I thought if I am going to promote this plant and industry I must believe enough to “Drink the Kool-Aid”.

10-27-16 12:12 PDT

inappropriateI really don’t know why I am writing this, I have no followers. I will admit I do feel self-conscious about writing a blog and putting all this out there so I’m really not promoting it. Maybe no one knows about my blog or the YouTube channel. I have no followers nor responders. I express my opinions about something and people get real interested or it appears they are interested. Then I step up the level of the presentation and lose their understanding. That’s when I get into these weird explanations I have concocted about the problem trying to be solved.

I say things like cancer is really these little “bugs” or energy cells that we take in that combine with all the toxins and carcinogens being produced that change the genetic structure and causes mutations. Or the ticket broker/coffee bistro solution I came up with for 280E and the reality TV project and how to implement it.

On the TV project we had a Meetup last night that 8 people signed up to finalize the cast and crew. I was the only one there. The videographer texted me and said he had to work his paid job but wanted to get together next Monday to proceed. Granted it rained last night (Portland) and I am way over in Gresham so if I didn’t live a half block away from the office I probably wouldn’t have come myself and it was my Meetup.

The PTSD has really messed with my confidence and willingness to proceed. Without the cannabis now I would probably be catatonic and stay in bed all day. As it is I am able to function well on the cannabis as medicine. I would like to have an objective caretaker/practitioner overseeing my treatment as I feel the results would be more attuned.

What I wanted to say today with this is Cannabis is Real Medicine. It is just not perfect yet. And what does that mean, just not perfect yet? Cannabis is a plant that has many great properties used for a slew of different things from food source, building materials, skin care and even therapeutics and pharmaceuticals. It has to be processed to really be useful. The only real use for raw cannabis is to smoke and get high. That is a great use, because it is far superior to ethanol.

To be useful it has to be extracted either by high heat and pressure or with some form of solvent, usually either CO2 or butane but alcohol works well too. The problem with this, particularly with whole plant cannabis you extract everything, including the waste products.

To put this in perspective consider the human body. When we take in nourishment whether in the form of solids or liquids, the food is processed by the body, nutrients are extracted and the residual waste products are collected and excreted from the lower abdomen. This is what is colloquially referred to as “Piss and Shit”.

Rick Simpson Oil, or RSO is a great medicine in its day, but it is unrefined. RSO looks and tastes terrible. I hate the stuff but take it as medicine because right now it is the best medicine for what I am treating. We are in the medieval times now with cannabis. Twenty years from now, if we haven’t all died from the current state of affairs in politics, terpenes will be understood along with the various cannabinoids. There will be specific regimens using pure cannabis extract, hopefully not just synthetics, for various ailments. Cannabis is Real Medicine. It is just not perfect yet.

3:30 PM PDT

thinking-faceTalked with 2 more investment/money people today which sounds all good but no check written. Then I put up the warning image to the right. I thought it was humorous and got me a laugh out of myself.

10-26-16 12:01 PDT

It is barely afternoon but I will post this here. I got an email today from my brother and it was funny – at least to me. It was mainly graphic with a lot of pictures of women with some showing bare breasts. They were very nice artsy photos. The subject line at the top of the email was “advice from one old guy to another.”

Quite frankly from all the publicity with Trump and him labeled rightly so being misogynistic, I thought I might have received this from the Don himself. However it was addressed from my brother, who is a staunch Republican and entrenched in voting for Trump. Really, he is  a loyal Republican and will probably vote along a straight Republican ticket, so I knew who it was from already. He also is probably the most successful in our family having taken over the family business and building it into where it is today. He is a successful, Republican businessman.

wasting_timeThe punch line of his email was:
I’ve completely forgotten where I was going with this !
(This kind of shit happens when you get older).
Sorry for wasting your time !

It was funny to me and I thought it was appropriate considering the subject matter to put those last 3 lines below the picture of the well endowed beautiful woman he posted. Was it in poor taste, yes. To me? No. Was it offensive? Probably, but I wasn’t offended.  I am probably numb to what most people would find offensive. That is from the years listening to mostly offensive and derogatory derisions directed towards me.

The inappropriate nature of the email did seem minor to me and didn’t even think about it except for the current rave on socially acceptable events. I wasn’t offended by his email, but the email was not about me, it was about these unidentified nude women. Would I be offended by a picture of me butt ass naked blasted over the internet? Probably, I think anyone would by that.

Now this was in a private email sent to me – well I did see 6 other CC’s but that’s beside the point, it was a private email to 7 people and not meant for public dissemination like those Trump videos were meant to be. Again I don’t like either one of these candidates.

My other brother is not as wealthy but he is a successful, well respected Democratic immigration attorney and restauranteur.  I am not attempting to disparage either one of my brothers, because I love them both, but they are like oil and water when it comes to political beliefs and social concerns. They are both steadfast Catholics and attend mass every Sunday. They are both my brothers but different.

Was it wrong for my older brother to send that email as he did mean it as a joke, that is him. Is it wrong for someone to say the things Trump said about women, gays, different races? Some of the things he says and does are not very nice. That is him. Should he be president of the USA? He should be if he get the majority vote as if Clinton does. Winner takes all.

I have not met either one of the presidential candidates and can only judge their character by what the news media wishes to portray. What I have discerned is that neither one of them deserve to be president. But who am I to say.

Words are just that, words. If someone says something you don’t like you can get upset and argue with them or you can boycott them and leave. It’s up to you as that is your right.

10-24-16 1:37 PDT

I had an initial meeting with one of if not the major cannabis leaders in the area this morning. The meeting went well as I did a selfie recording for some of it. I also talked with someone at DOPE magazine about some type of joint venture. I put together another email template to send out following a meeting. I had another email template I was using previously as followup to meeting a prospective business associate. I was sending this out a few months ago when looking for crew:

We are interested in putting together a pilot for a reality series to hi-lite a new cannabis company in the Portland, Oregon area. It is to show what is involved in promoting the company and we will have guests from the local cannabis community promoting their products and services.  Our company is  817-917-0219

I re-read that now and thought what is that crap. So this is the follow up email am sending now:

It was good speaking with you today regarding our separate operations. It does appear that there is some strong synergy between the two entities. I believe it would be mutually beneficial for us to form some type of alliance on a project together if this is of interest to you. At this point however, I do not know for sure if there is a fit there but as I said I believe there is.

MJ Consulting Services is basically a holding company for our varied interests. Our primary company in the Portland, Oregon area for revenue generation is the event ticket brokerage I have with my 2 business partners called CannaTixx. Right now we have 2 suites at the Moda Center along with other sets of tickets there and other venues across the country. That said, the entertainment aspects of CannaTixx and how concerts and cannabis are connected gives us a tremendous in road to market to. Our tagline for CannaTixx is “We Cater To The Cannabis Crowd.”

We are taking on a limited number of channel partners to expand the ticketing business to pair with retail cannabis operations. The primary reasoning is to increase traffic and profitability from additional sales of a product your competitors are not supplying, help mitigate the effects of IRS Section 280E and generate income from the managed ticket brokerage.

However, our main thrust in the cannabis industry is we are producing a reality television series centered around interviewing, recording and promotion of all the dispensaries/rec stores in the Portland/Vancouver area. Along with this we will shoot on location at concerts, sporting events and cannabis meeting such as yours at the Old Freeman Factory this next weekend here in Portland.

I have received much positive feedback from the cannabis community about the project so far with agreement about doing interviews. Of course that is free promotion now for them. One of my ticketing partners will visit the dispensaries to get signed releases and vett them as to question preparation and build rapport.

Right now we are looking for support in the way of finances and personnel. I have a Meetup scheduled this Wednesday at our office here in Gresham. I believe this project can and will be fun , exciting and profitable. It is being hosted by the group I founded PNWCIL. Here is the link for the Meetup on Wednesday – come join us and launch this.

Then my buddy Dave called me. You know who your friends are because they are he ones checking up on you to make sure you’re alive day to day. David said he thought he was getting $20 mill for his project which would be well deserved as it could play out to be a multi billion deal. He has had some unwarranted money issues because of trusting others. Anyways, I hope it comes through for him because of all his work in the industry it’s time he gets paid. So I thought would I be jealous if that comes through for him?

Jealousy is an undesirable human trait. I actually wish that everyone on the planet would mysteriously get $20 million dollars tomorrow. If the finance structure stays the same and everyone else get $20 million and I only get $10 million given to me or fronted to me to do a business deal I’ll be more than happy because I know what I could do with $10,000,000 in the current financial environment. The problem with that is the level of finances necessary to equate wealth or even stability would be skewed then. That would not solve anything as a cup of coffee would now probably cost $100K. So do I get jealous of others? No and Yes. I want everyone to succeed, grow and prosper. Let’s all succeed, grow and prosper together.

I cannot do this business successfully as I want to do it by myself. It is just not happening. I WANT and NEED this to take off. As it is now I am not doing anything of significance. Right now my business is a hobby. To be a business to support myself and others we NEED to expand and bring on more staff. That is what we NEED and what we WANT.

10-22-16 3:27 PDT

I seem to be making progress with my company(s) but it seems so slow. I had planned on giving up that reality television plan because even though got so much positive feedback, “talk is cheap it takes money to ride the train.” I don’t have enough capital to do this business and I don’t have any volunteers. I made a whole vblog about motivation and getting yourself and others motivated. If you can get someone to volunteer to help they are motivated. It is difficult to find employees that will volunteer to work and evidently that is what is perceived is a commission only sales position.

I supported myself well for years on commission only sales, but not everyone is broker of the month 2 out of every 3 months. I’m not trying to brag but I WAS, with emphasis on WAS, a very good salesperson. And it was all commission only. In sales, the people that earn the most are commission. I believe that others believe that also. I think it maybe now others don’t believe in themselves.

That said, I keep gravitating back to the reality television concept and the marketing aspects that represents. It seems clear to me more and more that integrating this now is my best course of action. The sheer fact that it will be a fun project is motivating in and of itself. This is the email I sent out to the 85 members we now have in PNWCIL:

We are finally getting some impetus for the television project. I am still without enough budget and/or volunteers for cast/crew/production and distribution but we have enough for right now. We are having a meetup on Wednesday night at the CannaTixx office.

This is going to be a fun project. We have 2 suites at the Moda Center and the Blazers are going to rock this year. Coupled with that we are on target to interview each and every dispensary/rec store in the Portland/Vancouver area by the end of next year.

Come join us if you’re in Portland next Wednesday

I’ve been recording a lot of these selfies and have some content. Most everything is uploaded to YouTube but private. Someone want to help me?

10-20-16 1:09 PM PDT

Things are getting way better but I’m sill begging for coins. I’m starting to talk with money people again that actually understand my visions. I get excited particularly with what I consider stupidity if they can’t see it. I don’t get upset I just get excited I can’t convey my understanding of the potential to these people I’m dealing with.

10-19-16 2:57 PM PDT

I did some ticket biz today buying about $800 in tickets listed for $1500. Put the retail value of inventory at $58,378 which is barely sustainable if I don’t eat any tickets and subsequently sell all tickets. Traditionally $58K will produce about $15,000 in sales for 4 months and unless replenished the business is done. I had $59K when I moved to Portland last November, had built I up to $91K before Laura moved here. Is that a coincidence or a cause? Either way we really shouldn’t live together as we are not compatible any longer. I don’t hate her but I don’t want her around me. We are done and that is it. I think it is sad how relationships deteriorate and always for irrational reasons. The reasons always seem so significant at the time but later when looked at and after all the damage is done were so unimportant.

I am suspect now about the efficacy of the cannabis oil treating prostate cancer. I can’t say for sure that it is not working as my PSA numbers were down the last test. However, I do seem to becoming somewhat symptomatic with perhaps enlargement. I can’t really tell but seems possibly enlarged from when first diagnosed. I actually don’t want to have another test and come back with bad news thinking if I don’t find out there is no problem. That is hide your head in the sand logic.

That whole area of the body is so susceptible to all the things the body is exposed to. If you think everything we eat, drink and is taken into our body is then processed and for the most part concentrated and gathered there prior to discharge. With all the toxins and poisonous substances we take in on a daily basis that find their way there it is no wonder the increased incidence of cervical, testicular, uterine, bladder, colon and prostate ailments people have these days.

I have altered my diet and lifestyle as I am again vegetarian for the 4th time. The last time I was vegetarian ended about four years ago and had a duration of about 2 years. After that time I usually get bored of no meat. I am also trying to eat all organic or local healthy type foods. I exercise and do not drink alcohol outside an occasional few sips of red wine.

The original recommendation was to do robotic surgery and remove the prostate. My younger brother had hormone treatment along with radiation which sounded terrible also particularly with his side effects from the procedures. My dad had FAR WORSE treatment, going through an orchectomy. My thoughts were after seeing what the conventional treatment entails and the possible negative outcomes from these various barbaric modalities and regimens to look elsewhere.

I researched cannabis oil and found some very promising results and outcomes but all anecdotal. My thoughts were I am going to be in the cannabis industry, particularly advocating medical marijuana for treatment. Wouldn’t it be great if I took the round of Rick Simpson Oil at a gram a day for 90 days and was cured of cancer. I will have drank the KoolAid and been cured. This will be great, I will be a pioneer, I will be a leader in the industry, cured of cancer by this miracle plant. I even started working on keynote speeches I would be asked to give and end with “There is an old saying ‘When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.’ my thought is ‘When life gives you nothing but weeds, make sure it’s Cannabis.'”

But now I’m not sure if this is working. The problem with our world is that all men will get prostate cancer eventually unless the heart attack, stroke or other cancers don’t get them first. We live in a toxic environment that coupled with all the stress we endure it’s a surprise we live as long as we do. Women have to cope with threats of breast, uterine and cervical cancers similarly that men do with prostate and testes. Prostate cancer is one of the less aggressive and severe as other forms of malignancies. However it can still kill.

6:05 PM PDT

I had to do some work today. Oh shit, I need to make phone call. I’ll be back. I’m back. I’ll write some and then call. This is all like tweets but I’m not sure what medium I want to use right now. So will save here. I called grower that was looking for $1.5 million to introduce him to a promoter I talked with today. The promoter has a publicly traded company looking for profitable operations to merge into. I’d get a finders fee of equity and cash, which would be substantial. That especially to the whiny little depressed thing in my video from his morning. I feel a lot better as I medicated myself and actually functioned today. Talked with a three people today about raising funds. Did the ticket business.

11:12 PM PDT

I said I wasn’t going to do any more videos but I did several more this evening but I actually think lot of useful material me talking on the phone with other people. It is more to do another promo piece and not sure if can use this for a show because no releases. I was also think some of the stuff it will all have to be rated restrictive as it’s not PG. There are so many inappropriate for general audiences and probably inappropriate in general. There is no nudity but talk about sex and drugs. We will see. I’ll upload the videos o YouTube as private and find a videographer probably on Fiverr to produce some promo pieces.


I do feel better and somewhat cleansed by posting the two articles yesterday. As I said previously it gives a sense of catharsis. I could have chosen a less public forum than the internet as a private journal would probably be more appropriate. But, that wouldn’t get me on television as MJ Mike. As that character I believe viewers would have a polarity to me as they would either hate me or love me. That because I am this self-centered, egotistical megalomaniac that can be overly personable. With the subject matter and a good cast and crew I think it will be a successful show.

Somebody asked me why I would want to be on TV particularly a reality show. I joked it would be a great way to meet women. I just think the show will be great.


As I said my thrust of these posting now will be to record what the effects and side effects are with my treatment using RSO, a treatment record so to speak. I had been keeping a journal when I first started treatment but  dropped off after a few months and became sporadic. All those records can be found on my computer in saved emails, text files on the computer and saved emails and text messages on my phone. Of course that’s if someone finds this information matter interesting and useful at a later time.

Anyways, I have been acting differently lately. I don’t believe I have Asperger’s but been irritable and do make inappropriate disclosures sometimes. I do believe I could not say something but I think, why not say it or do it? Life is way too short to be repressed by yourself or suppressed by others. The incident the other day with the firemen and police office could have been handled differently on my part but also with them too. The outcome was the same whether I had said anything of not. They moved the fire truck when they were done and ready to leave. Maybe I was being unreasonable but at the time I thought they were too.

I was posting about my dog being so stupid she won’t come in out of the rain but I went jogging in it. Who is stupid there?  I passed an African man carrying an umbrella and I thought should I say it or not and I did say something about his umbrella just to be friendly. I discerned he was African by his accent. I told him good morning, asked how he was and then was jokingly critical of his umbrella. Was it inappropriate? Maybe. Did I find it funny? Yes. So I told him I used to carry an umbrella, but now I moved here and dress like this. Told him to have a good day and jogged off.

Was it rude to say that to him? Maybe, but I believe it is more rude to ignore people and not say anything. People may not find what I say always enjoyable, but it pleases me. I don’t feel as accepted here in Portland as I was in Texas. People are friendly and nice here, but I really haven’t developed the ties I had in Texas. I haven’t even seen my daughter, nor my 2 grandchildren since moving here last November. She says she is really busy with work, family everything but we could get together at least for coffee once in 11 months.

The post picture above is me with my 2 good friends Fred and Christina I have known since being a stockbroker. He is a reformed alcoholic, bible thumping Christian so we have different opinions on some things. I love them to death and was really close as we have stayed friends all these years. Laura thought they were possessed by demons and severed ties a year or so ago. This whole paragraph is an example of inappropriate disclosure as the above sentence could be construed as disparaging 2 people at once.

I have Laura living with me but we are not sleeping together. I said I would never be in a relationship like that. We were divorced in 2000 but were living together in Texas until last October 2015, then I moved here to Oregon, a non community property state, so I would consider us divorced as we seem to be from different planets now. She hinders me more than helps me to have her around me. I need a REAL girl friend that I am sleeping with and can actually talk with and not get upset.

I moved to Gresham which doesn’t help establishing friendships and contacts. It is about 15 miles into Portland itself so I kind of feel isolated out here.  I don’t feel like I have the people around me that I need to be happy and prosperous.  I just don’t sense as being as self reliant here as in Texas and it maybe my support structure there was more concrete. As I said I feel isolated. I work from my home by myself with my “roommate” sleeping in bed with the door closed until about 4 PM every day . Which is fine because when she does get up she just upsets me by her complaining about my lack of production.

That is kind of ironic that she would bitch about me not producing enough income when she stays in bed until 4 PM. I have asked her why she would think I would have a desire to support her. Her job when we were married was to motivate me to produce and she is not motivating me now. Laura jokes she is a retired Ho but my thought is I didn’t set up a Ho retirement plan. I’m still working, she has to also and if not with me then somebody else. A companion should make you feel better about yourself and compliment you. That is what she did for 20 years. Now she makes me feels worse about myself. See I am an asshole.

Just go off a 17 minute phone conversation with Mary, with me complaining about my plight here. I hate this thing of being needy crap because that’s what it is. People will ask me how I am doing and my stock answer is usually “I can’t complain, well I could but no one wants to hear it so I stopped complaining about things. How are you?” Or I will say that “I am tolerated by many but tolerable of few.” Both of those usually get a laugh with the later me expressing my position that it’s okay for me to say or do what I want to but not you, which again doesn’t seem right. Maybe that attitude is why haven’t developed any real friendships here yet only acquaintances. I haven’t become Portland Nice as I guess I am still Texas Angry. I don’t know if I would call it angry but it definitely is not nice.


It is Sunday afternoon and haven’t gotten a lot accomplished except writing on this blog. I posted my morning thoughts – particularly about “Does God Exist in Portland”.   I was reading what I wrote on April 19th under Morning Thoughts:

“You will know you have attained your goal when you can do it effortlessly. “When you have learned to walk on the rice paper.” When you can walk without being seen by the motion detector. If you have to be undetected you won’t be. If you have to believe something is true then it won’t be. It has to be effortless to be true.”

First of all, I copied and pasted that whole paragraph into the Google search box and only 2 results came back and they were links to the posting from the original posting. I thought the excerpt was pretty cool, I wondered who wrote it originally. I know about the rice paper part, that was from the TV show “Kung Fu” with Kwai Chang Caine.  The rest I thought profound so I started searching on Google for the different phrases. I first did a search for You will know you have attained your goal when you can do it effortlessly

That took me to a page talking about earth angels, and Gemma Patricia Bowler – 1988-2016, a recently deceased 28 year old jewelry designer. There I found reference to the Law of Attraction which someone I met recommended for me to read last week.

I hear stuff about a new age dawning and that when that happens we go into a different dimension and people won’t make sense or be misunderstood. I sure don’t understand Laura any longer. What does all this mean? I meet a guy while I’m waiting for the bus to go home from night at the NW Cannabis Club. He looks like he is homeless and someone to avoid. Then he turns to me and calls me by name and said I need to listen and not talk as much all serious. Then he drops out of that character and back to the homeless guy. Gets on the bus and is ranting about crap so no one takes him seriously, when he gets off gives me a thumbs up and smirk of a smile. It was weird like he was there to talk with me and then vanish. The guy last Sunday recommending Law of Attraction, which makes sense that you attract like thoughts and people. You get what you need and want. So I end up at the page HERE. That is exactly what these atheists go on and on about – shit you can’t prove that just sounds like it could or would be great if it did. What it turned out to be was another variation on a Twelve Step Program.

I searched for something on the sentence I had there about motion detectors. All I could find were articles about how they work and how to: Tips To Avoid Being Spotted By Motion Detectors so I don’t think that line was mentioned by anyone in the past in this context.

Next I searched the sentence  If you have to be undetected you won’t be. on Google and all the results had to do with HIV virus which was really strange as these seem to be unrelated or so I thought. Also, I am not sure of the significance of that phrase by itself anyways. What does that mean anyways. I think the meaning is the same as the next line  If you have to believe something is true then it won’t be. If you have to have something, if it is so important to you you can’t live without it, chances are it is going to slip out of your grasp whether it is tangible or not. Let the eagle fly it will return.  The same is true of money, possessions and people. If you have to have it you can’t.

The last line of that posting was  It has to be effortless to be true. WTF does that mean?  So I will cop out and do a search for that term. Hmm everything comes back in relation to LOVE. effortless love. That’s a bunch of bullshit. Effortless love, that would be nice. Love and relationships are constant work or they will be consistently gone. It is hard to be in a relationship and not constantly screwing something up. I didn’t do this, I did that, I forgot to do something or failed to remember other points. You have to pay the toll to get love.

So anyways I read that paragraph I wrote 6 months ago and thought this was some good shit, as normally I would be super critical of anything I wrote and ask someone to look over it first as I am not objective. Then I wondered who actually wrote it and now I think it was me. I am critical about the things I read, but now I think that this is actually something worth reading and I thought this was good:

“You will know you have attained your goal when you can do it effortlessly. “When you have learned to walk on the rice paper.” When you can walk without being seen by the motion detector. If you have to be undetected you won’t be. If you have to believe something is true then it won’t be. It has to be effortless to be true.”

Maybe I will be a writer, as I do have some interesting material. Hell, if I told all I would probably have a bounty put on my head. I haven’t ever met Hillary, just all her friends.

I was going to leave that last post up as the home page for this blog but that is what a blog does – CHANGE. So here is what I have today. I was thinking about changing or actually have changed the direction for the home page of MJ Consulting. The 280E emphasis is just NOT WORKING. I haven’t made a sale of that. I have this ad agency that can sell a lot of different products – promo products, websites, SEO, video, ads and really just about anything including white labeled social media campaigns. The thing that is supporting me is this ticket business, Jake said he did $1 million last year and half was from cannabis biz owners so expanding the ticket business further into cannabis would be I believe ideal. Still continue to do the 280E but also include coffee. I’m calling all this the 3 C s of Life  – Concerts, Coffee & Cannabis. That will be the direction of MJ Consulting Services now overseeing the different divisions of operations:

I’m going to do a video on people coming to the website for MJ Consulting and seeing we are about the 3 C s of concerts, coffee and cannabis. WTF? concerts, coffee and cannabis, how are they related? How are they not related. That was my last blog post about ticket brokers, why anyone would want to be one and how is all this related? Getting over the negatives of ticket scalping and making money from ticket brokering – that is what I have to promote.


I have so much to say and not enough typing skills – LOL. I wrote 2 articles about What Is a Ticket Broker? and How Concerts and Cannabis are Related? for LinkedIn and social media. Trying to get more traction on this cannabis business as the ONLY thing supporting me now is my ticketing business. I need to figure out how to get this agency business going. I am not making any sales to speak of and can’t hire anyone – no money. And I am really bummed about my girlfriend situation or lack of. I am not used to being in this kind of place with no one I feel close to. It seems like all the possibilities I have are either mentally deranged or damaged in some way. I don’t feel like I have any real friends here since I can’t really be friends with anyone I don’t trust enough or that doesn’t trust me enough to have sex with. I mean sex should be somewhat special and I’m definitely over the casual sex thing. When I was in my 20s and 30s I was a lot less picky and I probably should be now that I am this age – LOL again.

Relationships are weird. I have some women that do hit on me now but for the most part the ones that do are in my same age and weight class and they just don’t do it for me. I read an article some woman was complaining about all the unwanted advances she gets. I guess I was spoiled over the years being a successful doctor and then stockbroker. Now being older and having no hair there are not as many offers needless to say.

Right now I have really 3 women in my life that I am involved with and currently I’m not getting laid by anyone! The first is my ex-wife the physician and she would have sex with me at the drop of a hat or me simply asking. She also would support me financially if I so chose. The problem is she lives and works 2000 miles away and I’m really not into phone sex. I really don’t like condom sex and KNOW that as many STDs out there its a must these days with someone new.

I presently have my other ex-wife, the former dancer living with me and my dog here in Oregon. I am supporting her as she is completely disabled due to her mental condition. We are also not having sex because of my current possession by demons, alien robots, vampires or whatever can and is imagined. She has been in and out of mental institutions the last 4 years. I believe without me she would be homeless and on the street. She can be very difficult dealing with her condition.

Lastly, I do have a sort of “girlfriend” (I am writing all this for myself and not anyone else). We met a few weeks ago. I let her know that I am very sexually attracted to her. She said it’s not me she is just not attracted to anyone – man or woman. She doesn’t dress like she is not trying to sexually attract someone and she says she got out of a relationship with her fiance who has Aspergers Syndrome. She is damaged. I like her and would like more but when I asked her out and she tells me she has other plans already. Or when we went to a movie she brought a girl friend. (I would have been up for a Menage a Trois but wasn’t offered one) I can see that she has some hangups about sex, what it is intended for and how to use it – most people do. Well I’m used to being in a place where other plans are not a consideration. I want to be with someone that I am the most important thing or person in their life and the same for me with them. I want to be with someone that has my back and I have theirs. I mean prior commitments are important but I want to be the guy that my girlfriend says “Susan, Mike asked me out for Saturday night and I have to go out with him and cancel dinner with you, I mean he makes me so HOT!!!” That’s what I used to get, I’m not getting it now and I miss that.

I am going to write a blog post about that, Difference in a Friend and an Acquaintance. I am thinking about posting it on that woman’s blog site The gist of it will be that if you don’t trust me enough to have sex why would I trust you to be my friend. It is rather shallow but true.

Everyone has a sex drive, it’s just that some of us have suppressed it more than others because of various personal reasons but usually for the wrong ones. It is not some evil, dirty, bad thing if it were it just wouldn’t feel so good physically and emotionally. It is not some magic thing that should be rationed out, controlled or avoided altogether. At the same time it is not some commodity that is to be used for manipulation, cunning or deceit.

Over my adult lifetime I have been approached by both men and women desiring a sexual encounter with me and I have rejected others myself. First of all, I’m not gay, I don’t have a problem with gay. The problem I have is I’m not gay and am tired of people trying to talk me into convincing me “I just haven’t had the right one.” I just don’t care.

Secondly, I do have a physical preference for women. I may not be extremely picky, but I do have my preferences as to race, hair color, age, weight, personality and various others things. There is no one trait that I find more attractive than others but appeal is a personal thing. That said, recently I had coffee with a woman I met online.

Initially, I was not that attracted to her as she was about 40 pounds overweight and didn’t look like she ever exercised. That’s not a bad thing, just not the way I operate. We had coffee and a great conversation. When we were leaving I told her she was a lot more attractive to me after talking for 2 hours than when I first sat down. Unfortunately for me she did not take it as a compliment that I was attracted to her mind and not her body so she texted me the next day to cancel our following date. I could have been friends with her, she just didn’t want to go through the gauntlet.


Today is my birthday! Happy birthday to me. Happy birthday to me.  I’ve had several people call me to wish me well. It has been 5 months since I’ve been on this site and written on this blog. There has been a lot happen since then and then again not much. I’m still being treated with RSO. My ticketing business is doing well – only thing making me money. Haven’t gotten any dispensaries to put in the ticket brokerage nor coffee bistro even though EVERYONE says its great. Haven’t been able to hire any sales people as have no money to pay a base salary and no one will work on straight commission with a new company. My daughter called to wish me happy birthday even though I haven’t seen them since moving here in November. I don’t want to say anything about girlfriend/ex wife as that is definitely not where I want it or even expect that aspect of my life to be. Yea – Happy birthday to me. Happy birthday to me.


Still haven’t made the posting live on Indiegogo   I am laying groundwork for the television program with the contacts I’m making.  I am talking with 2 people this week about co-founder – A lawyer and an accountant. I do need someone else to help me with this.  Woke up this morning with a headache – too much dabs? The NW Cannabis Club I joined will be a great place to make contacts and meet people. And there is an interesting element MJ MIKEthere. Think it will be great for the show. I’m doing some raw footage to condense into a 45 sec promo piece for the Cannabis Reality show.

Someone gave me a cap last night and think may start wearing a cap instead of my bald head. I may shave my head and wear caps – baseball or like this. May make me look little younger and more accepted. You know my main goal with this whole business is to meet women – LOL.


I am still delaying posting the cannabis reality project on Indiegogo. I want to get some feed back and haven’t yet. I’ve asked several people to eval and give me feedback. But as you can see don’t want to be bothered by this written journal. I have to think about speling and typing (LOL came back and see misspelled word spelling – irony) rather than let it flow – could get a recorder – well that’s what the tv show is. I went to the atheists meeting this morning – I get the felling (misspelled feeling – probably my typing) that I am foreign to them but enjoy going and talking with them. I mean I am opinionated but they are too. They think it is not OK for everyone to have a right to their beliefs but if they don’t agree they should discuss their disagreement. People’s philosophy are set and no matter what you are not going to change that person and why should they. This needs to get out there on the TV show. Anyway I was watching Blue Bloods and Frank asks the cop in trouble if you could get a do-over would there be anything you would do differently. What is the answer? No – then OK move on we’re done here. Yes – OK then let’s relive that again. – The past, the present and the future. – conviction, punishment and rehabilitation….

I also got to thinking about this 280E solution and will need to do some kind of posting on it – to explain away this objection. Mary – the oncologist stated she was looking for new accountant and she didn’t want to get a daredevil. Someone that would take risks which I would call an innovative accountant. I said what she needed wasn’t an accountant but rather a bookkeeper. Said “no I need an accountant.” An accountant should find different tax planning/saving methods and present them with a recommendation. To just do the status quo is not fulfilling their fiduciary responsibilities. The client can accept or reject the suggestion as they are the one paying the bills. But as one CPA in Colorado that only works in cannabis told his clients. “Don’t do anything and just pay the taxes. Nothing we can do” – I told him that kind of attitude that there is “nothing we can do” was what got 6 million Jews killed during WWII. Maybe that is stretching it but in this industry the effective tax rate can be as high as 90% with 280E.  But then I thought about what a cannabis attorney in Colorado said – they represent clients that are “Our clients are trailblazers, building a new and vibrant industry from scratch.”  What MJ Consulting is taking the IRS code and using it to help lessen the effects of 280E. Everyone in this industry is going to be audited and i don’t think it is reckless to take deductions that you are entitled to. And really most businesses are able to take normal business deductions. It is not that accountant’s money it is our money that is being saved by this.  I have an easy to implement solution, that is cost effective, people even tell me – hey this is brilliant. If it is so fucking brilliant why doesn’t someone help run with it?


Supposed to have meeting today regarding business. Got sidetracked with groceries and job applicants. Got this email from “Cannabis Conscious 1/31”  with a piece on the benefits of CBC on cancer treatment. However, in their piece the chart on Cannabinoid Education it lists CBC as encouraging cell growth rather than “inhibit tumor growth” as is stated. It is CBD that does this not CBC. And the treatment regimen I would follow is 60 grams of cannabis oil taken over a 90 day time window. This at a ratio of 50:50 THC to CBD.
I need money to make this business happen.


I posted a job request on Indeed. This for a Ticket Broker Trainee – to learn the business from me and expand on that. Guy I talked with Darren seemed to be a fit – money motivated to help his family – what would you do for money – are you honest and loyal. Do whatever it takes does not sound honest – but that could depend on your level of ethics and how desperate you were?  I mean its easy to be ethical when everything is taken care of and no worries about anything. But how desperate does someone have to become in order to violate their own ethical code for a bag of silver?  He seemed like a fit so will talk again Monday.
Also Paige Sayles applied – she did have something on her resume about working in a Starbucks – interested and asked what she learned while working at Starbucks – what I recall was she had only worked there 1 month experience but the attachment here shows lot more. It is interesting in that the thing that really gets these dispensaries on board is not the ticket brokerage but rather the coffee shop. A coincidence or someone that wants to be hired?

Good, call me Monday afternoon about 4 PM PST.

We are a new ancillary business in the cannabis industry which is right now in its infancy. We believe we are addressing a niche which is not being currently handled but has the potential of being huge. If you have sincere interest on coming on board and getting a piece of the pie please follow these steps. There are 3 phases of the interview because this is a sales position. First you need to email me and convince me to give you a phone interview. Second, the phone interview will consist of convincing me you can sell over the phone. If you handle those 2 tasks well we can arrange a personal interview. Thanks and look forward to meeting you. Send to However, before you do any of this become familiar with our 2 websites and what we do – and We are implementing additional businesses into retail cannabis operation to help mitigate tax burdens. This in the form of an online ticket brokerage and a coffee shop/bestro.


I’m getting signage for the Ticket Business as EZ Ticket and for the Consulting Business as MJ Consulting Services. Initially tomorrow should have the front door and windows then next week the outside signs. This should increase the foot traffic and sales for EZ Ticket. As of right now the ticket business is what I am living on for support. It’s not coming from investors nor other sales or subscriptions. I would like to diversify with MJ Consulting and all the other offerings.



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